End the Angst Party

Forgot I wrote an angsty/emo post/poem last time.  If there's one thing we MSWs know not to do, it's end a session on a sour note.  Cue inspirational rant/mindfulness exercise.

After a week of griping about new performance evaluations (okay, I'm in my second full month into this full-time job, and already they're shifting expectations on me...and everyone else.  Cue job insecurity), my boss was encouraging us to be irritated but not poisoned.  Why do we do what we really do?

A calling.  That's why I'm at this job: not just the paycheck (though that's necessary) nor the benefits (though that's pretty sweet).  It's because I have this vision of my life and what it could mean.  The people whose lives I can help touch and I can bring light into and bless.  If I am tired, burnt out, confused, stressed, and can't tell left from right, I have this compass pointing due Jesus for me to follow.

(apparently, this calling--and the mention of it-- is what got me hired.  who'da thunk??)

Two things (hello, Spirit, is that you?):
1.) As I got out of the car after a grueling day at work during which all my clients cancelled on me, this thought came to mind: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart..."  A fitting thing to put into my office as a great reminder.  No need to explicit articulate the rest of the verse: "As working for the LORD and not for men."

2.) a couple of the moms thanked me at the end of some hard conversations.  If all else fails, at least I'll have known that someone out there has felt some kind of light after our interactions.

Oh...and the client whose angst put me into a funk...she's doing well, and we're going to talk more.  Things are looking up.  I like her quite a bit.