What being a bridesmaid taught me about serving God

I'd planned for it since age 10, when two girls full of dreams and whimsy whispered in hopeful delight, "Let's be each other's maid of honor."  16 year later, the moment arrived.  My best friend got engaged to the man of her dreams, the wedding date was set, and wedding planning, and my duties as MOH (maid of honor) commenced.

photo: Margarette Sia Photography

I had such a fabulous time!  I had thought it would be glamorous, me dolling up and putting on a pretty dress, to stand by my bff as she made her vows and lived happily ever after, and get to be the 9th most important and glamorous person at the wedding.  Well...WRONG.  But reality was actually way better and more interesting than what I had imagined. And I really had such a renewed perspective on what it means to selflessly serve someone. Who knew being a bridesmaid was such a spiritual exercise??





1. It's not about you, and that's really awesome.

The number one thing I learned right away was that it was all about my friend, her fiance, and their happiness and celebration.  They had the spotlight, it was their big day and life together.  I get to be a bit player, honored to have even a small part of what was happening, and that was really joyful to me!  To have a front-row seat to their preparation season of engagement, to their ceremony of commitment and life-dedicating vows...no words.

As a Christian, it's the same thing!  What I do should point directly to God.  I am not the main character; He is!  The tasks are not to glorify me or make me feel good, but to serve His purpose and proclaim His kingdom!  The fact that I find joy in it is a wonderful, promised thing, a gift from the Lord.  How gracious He is!  When we serve Him, we get front-row seats to His wonders and miracles.  What a pleasure!

John answered and said, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent ahead of Him.’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full. He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:27-30.



2. Make yourself available and willing, obedient and cooperative.

With the promise to be MOH came the implicit agreement that I would do everything I could to make my bride's preparations easier and smoother.  But I felt myself eager, almost too much, to remind her that I was ready to take on any task.  I'm so glad I did, and I think that my cheerful attitude made it way easier for my friend to not only assign me tasks, but to focus on what she needed to do too!

I want to be just as eager and joyful in my service to God, vocal in my readiness, and open-hearted and open-handed to take on what He would like me to do, and give to Him my all and very best.  God does not want to burden or force us into this thing called Walking with Him, but delights in a cheerful heart!

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man..." Colossians 3:23
"Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." II Corinthians 9:7


3. No task is too insignificant; be faithful in little and big things!

Struggling and sweating to decorate the bridal shower

Being in the wedding party can be a heady thing; you're important, you get to stand in front, you get the inside scoop on the bride and groom and all their plans!  being a bridesmaid was more about accompanying my bride to conventions, dress fittings, and bill paying, rather than being pretty.  I spent a lot of time entering data and addressing envelopes, tying ribbons, and being a listening ear.  Most of it is not glamorous, and was very tedious and boring at times.  But if those tasks were not complete, the wedding would not happen.  They were encouraging and helpful to my friend.  

In God's kingdom, no task is too small.  I need to be faithful and trustworthy in any task He gives me, because those things are to help fulfill His greater purpose and plan, whether I can see it or not.  And if I am faithful in the little, He will increase my lot and let me have a stab at being faithful in even more!  Also, my service is to the benefit of others, everyone in the Kingdom and beyond!  How can I be an encouragement and a comfort to those around me?

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ...Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:10
"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much" Luke 16:10

4. It takes a village!  Be part of the body

One of the bigger challenges for me was to coordinate with the other bridesmaids, especially in throwing our bride her bridal shower and bachelorette party.  I only knew some of the other bridesmaids, and we all had different schedules, lives, and even geography!  It was really humbling for me to act as one of the group, rather than bossing everyone around.  But it worked to everyone's benefit!  Though I've planned for 16 years, I'd never actually been a bridesmaid before, and some of the other girls had loads of experiences!  And, it was freeing to empower other girls to plan different things instead of shouldering everything myself.  I had a great time getting to know these sisters, and to celebrate with them on our friend's special day.  The most important: our teamwork and cooperation led to our bride thoroughly enjoying herself at every event!

photo: Margarette Sia Photography

We belong to the body of Christ: no man is an island.  We act as parts of the body, and we all need each other, especially in accomplishing the great things of God.  I am an eye, he might be an ear, and she might be the colon; none of us is more important or indispensable, but we all function together to make the body work.  

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ...If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.…The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"  On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor...God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it,so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other...Now you are the body of Christ." I Corinthians 12:12-27

5. Be prepared for every situations!

On the day of, there was a detailed timeline and strict schedule to follow.  But there were any number of things that could have happened to derail the schedule, soil a dress, or upset the bride and groom.  It helped to have things handy in my big tote and be ready for any emergencies!  Even though nothing big happened, and everything ran smoothly, we were all much more reassured to have our emergency kits and extras of everything, from repairing eyelashes to smoothing out flower arrangements.  

I need to pay attention to everything and everyone around me: is there someone who needs some prayer or just a friend to hold their hand and dry their eyes?  Are there people in need whom I can help and empower?  Are there younger people I can disciple?  What, who, where, and when can I serve at any given moment?  To whom can I share my testimony and the powerful gospel, and in what time could that situation arise?

Most importantly, I need to be praying and waiting expectantly for the Bridegroom to come!  

Then the righteous will ask, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’  Matthew 25:37-40

"Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction." II Timothy 4:2

"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them.The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.  The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.  "At midnight the cry rang out: 'Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!' Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps.  The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.'  'No,' they replied, 'there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.'  "But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut."  Matthew 25:1-10

Photo: Margarette Sia Photography