All By Myself
Last night I decided to go see a movie at the theaters...by myself.
I never realized how much going to the theaters was a social thing for me. People have shared their feelings about how movies are not really conducive to social interactions because you sit there and watch something...there is no conversation, no meaningful anything except a shared experience. But I love that shared experience. (also the conversation I like to instigate about movie afterwards).
There I was, sitting by myself at the theaters. I took up two seats, one for myself and one for my big purse. I got myself some ice cream because I wanted some. And I mused to myself...this is what being single sometimes is like. I was surprised to find that I did not feel that lonely, except when I exited the theater afterwards and took a quick, quiet stroll to my car.
I was asked twice, three times in the last two weeks whether I am married. I try to explain in the most rational and not-crazy-sounding way I can that no, I am not, and the ring I wear on my finger is a pledge to myself and to Him that I am surrendering this whole marriage thing to Him to do with what He will.
I admit...I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'd like to do if I had a significant other to share life with. I've imagined myself reflecting on how nice it would be to take nighttime strolls with the dog with a partner, or to push through the busy streets of the Motherland with a warm hand pulling me along. But I've recently discovered that it's nice to do these things...walking the dog, shopping in HK, seeing the sights, browsing bookstores...all by myself. I can be comfortable being by myself, and there is no added pressure to please anyone but me. (Oh, and my ever-present Friend and Master).
Being single has not precluded me from holding babies (I kidnap them from friends) or dancing at weddings (Spiderloverbridesmaid's wedding was a smash hit!). It has freed me to have fun with myself, including going to the theaters by myself. It has released me to have time and space for family and friends.
But if you'd like to pray for a significant other to come my way, I have no problems with that either.
I never realized how much going to the theaters was a social thing for me. People have shared their feelings about how movies are not really conducive to social interactions because you sit there and watch something...there is no conversation, no meaningful anything except a shared experience. But I love that shared experience. (also the conversation I like to instigate about movie afterwards).
There I was, sitting by myself at the theaters. I took up two seats, one for myself and one for my big purse. I got myself some ice cream because I wanted some. And I mused to myself...this is what being single sometimes is like. I was surprised to find that I did not feel that lonely, except when I exited the theater afterwards and took a quick, quiet stroll to my car.
I was asked twice, three times in the last two weeks whether I am married. I try to explain in the most rational and not-crazy-sounding way I can that no, I am not, and the ring I wear on my finger is a pledge to myself and to Him that I am surrendering this whole marriage thing to Him to do with what He will.
I admit...I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'd like to do if I had a significant other to share life with. I've imagined myself reflecting on how nice it would be to take nighttime strolls with the dog with a partner, or to push through the busy streets of the Motherland with a warm hand pulling me along. But I've recently discovered that it's nice to do these things...walking the dog, shopping in HK, seeing the sights, browsing bookstores...all by myself. I can be comfortable being by myself, and there is no added pressure to please anyone but me. (Oh, and my ever-present Friend and Master).
Being single has not precluded me from holding babies (I kidnap them from friends) or dancing at weddings (Spiderloverbridesmaid's wedding was a smash hit!). It has freed me to have fun with myself, including going to the theaters by myself. It has released me to have time and space for family and friends.
But if you'd like to pray for a significant other to come my way, I have no problems with that either.
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