Me, myself, and I

I’m sitting at Panera Bread, the fourth day of a week-long trek through mountains of essay-writing, sipping on my fourth soup of the day.   I've decided to not write my paper, due in an hour, and write this blogpost instead.

Current assignment: in-depth analysis to my leadership strengths, styles, and philosophy.  Another excruciating exercise in self-reflection and rumination.  Dang it.

What I’ve learned so far: I’m decisive, and indecisive.  I am creative, and too rigid.  I am inventive, and love objectivity.  I am an extravert, and an introvert.  I am an idealist, and a realist. So basically…I am nothing and everything all at the same time.  I could be a great leader…and also a weak leader.

When the Myers-Brigg test was super popular and all my friends were taking them together, there was some speculation as to what we thought Jesus would have been, had he also taken a Myers-Brigg test.  Some thought he would have been an INFJ (that’s me!!), but another person (I thought wisely) argued that Jesus may have been everything, a balance of all these traits, and he had to have been the most well-rounded and completely developed man who ever walked the earth.

So as I’m aimlessly trying to make sense of this paper (which I’d gladly order to throw itself off Mount Everest if I could), I guess maybe I can take comfort in the fact that perhaps I am somehow reaching the point of being balanced in aspects of my life. 

Well, either that or I’m just being Asian and giving myself middle ratings (i.e. a 3 out of a scale from 1 to 5) in order to avoid the extremes, thereby skewing all results on my assessments.  And maybe I think I know myself well, and don’t actually know myself well.  Or I am a different person on different days, depending on hunger level, time spent with Jesus, and hormone fluctuations.

Back to my paper.