10 Reasons Why Shang is my Dream Man: 2020 Redux

I once wrote an essay about 10 reasons why Shang is my dream guy.  With the live-action version of Mulan coming out at the end of the month, I took a look at the old list and made some revisions that reflect my more mature sensibilities compared to 8 years ago.


1. He is Chinese.  This remains the same but I've been more and more aware of the importance of good Asian representation in our media and entertainment.

2. He is cute.  Not just his face.  But also his personality.  Of course physicality plays a role in attraction.  But give me a great, earnest, somewhat dorky personality and wowza!

3. He loves and respects his father, with whom he has a healthy relationship.  Healthy father-son relationships are sometimes harder to see; having been in the mental health field for a while, I can tell you that parent-child relationships play a huge role.  For Shang to respect and emulate his father, but NOT feel the need to become exactly like him, is really cool to watch.


4. He has an expansive emotional range, more than that of a teaspoon.  He is also flexible to the situation: stern and firm when instructing and training his troops, softer and more open-minded in individual settings, able to give labelled praise.  Emotional health is key, my friends.


5. He knows humility: when he is wrong, he acknowledges it.  When someone has a better strategy, he is quick to adapt and watch, see why the dude is aiming the cannon the wrong way and gets out of the way. When a girl saves China, he gives credit when it's due.

6. He has courage and integrity.  He repays his debt and is merciful when Mulan is found out to be a girl, and stands up even to the emperor's councillor...in the end, even to the emperor himself.

7. His leadership is inspiring.  He first models and then challenges.  He expects that people can rise to the challenge, and can acknowledge and recognize growth and potential in people. He prizes discipline and teaches others to do the same.   Watch that song again.

8. He models what a man in power can do to empower a female under his authority.  Of course, recently a hot-button issue was 2020 Mulan filmmakers explaining why they took out Shang's character in the live-action, due to discomfort of having a boss be the love interest in the wake of the #Me-Too movement.  But I propose that Shang could have helped model what NOT abusing power looks like.  He waited until after she was away from his command to pursue anything romantic.  He did not shut her down or propositioned her, but took her seriously.  He stands up for and with her when others argue that she broke the law. He lets her have agency. This article quoted some cool tweets who had responses to the revision of Shang's character similar to my own.

9.  He is authentic.  Classic moves and doesn't let embarrassment get in his way.  Facts without flowery words. "You fight good" is still a classic pick-up line in my book. 

10. Very few people have watched Mulan 2 (and honestly, that's probably best).  But he's pretty amazing as a partner who sees his soon-to-be-wife as an equal partner, even as they work on communicating well together.  He respects her choices but also defends her. 

There you have it!  I got wordy again, but I'd like to think I'm a bit more mature and wise in my reasonings now.  I still watch Mulan at least once a year; it's forever a classic to me.